One day I nearly dropped a bowl of oyster stuffing when I read with disbelief and disappointment that the average American family spent only $2.59 a person on Thanksgiving dinner in 1991, down from $.289 the year before, an undeniable sign of the decay of family and national values under two successive Republican administrations.

jeffrey steingarten, the man who ate everything, p.34

The Greeks are really good at both pre-Socratic philosophy and white statues. They have not been good cooks since the fifth century B.C., when Siracusa on Sicily was the gastronomic capital of the world.... The British go to Greece just for the food, which says volumes to me. You would probably think twice before buying an Algerian or Russian television set. I thought for ten years before buying my last Greek meal.

jeffrey steingarten, the man who ate everything, p.6

Senores, if fortune turns her wheel so that my master decides not to be an emperor but an archbishop, I'd like to know now: what do archbishops errant usually give their squires?

sancho panza, in don quixote by miguel de cervantes, pt.1, ch.26, trans. edith grossman

...I had begun to think I had, if not lost, then mislaid your goodwill, for you had allowed so long to go by without writing to me, and I was in some uncertainty as to what the reason could be.

machiavelli, introductory letter to francesco vettori in the prince, p.1

There are vexations between the married couple. 'Good God,' ejaculated Luther, 'what a lot of trouble there is in marriage! Adam has made a mess of our nature. Think of all the squabbles Adam and Eve must have had in the course of their nine hundred years. Eve would say, 'You ate the apple,' and Adam would retort, 'You gave it to me.'

here i stand by roland bainton, ch.17 p.235

Alexander attended a banquet and, if the traditional accounts are to be believed, literally drank himself to death. The climax came in an exchange of toasts in which he is said to have downed twelve pints of undiluted wine in one steady draft. He doubled up with a violent spasm and collapsed into a coma, from which his doctors were unable to revive him.

peoples and empires by anthony pagden, p.10

When Luther looked at his family in 1538, he remarked, 'Christ said we must become as little children to enter the kingdom of heaven. Dear God, this is too much. Have we got to become such idiots?'

here i stand by roland bainton, ch.17 p.236

On parting the next morning [the travelers] let the knight know that they took him for Hutton. 'No, he is Luther,' interposed the host. The knight laughed. 'You take me for Hutton. He takes me for Luther. Maybe I am the Devil.'

here i stand by roland bainton, ch.12 p.165

Indeed, the style and the spittle all point to Eck. True, it is not impossible that where Eck is the apostle there one should find the kingdom of Antichrist.

luther, against the execrable bull of antichrist,

from here i stand by roland bainton, ch.9 p.125

It was a confusion of ideas between him and one of the lions he was hunting in Kenya that had caused A. B. Spottsworth to make the obituary column. He thought the lion was dead, and the lion thought it wasn't.

the return of jeeves, p. g. wodehouse.

In line at Sam's, the lady in front of me is wearing sweatpants that say "SPORT'S" across the butt. (Mine say "ACADEMIC'S.")

aaron belz

Can I get a binky for baby Bron-Bron?

aaron belz

via dilbert

Hunter Stockton Thompson (July 18, 1937 – February 20, 2005) was an American journalist and author who wrote Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1971) and Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail '72 (1973).

He is credited as the creator of Gonzo journalism, a style of reporting where reporters involve themselves in the action to such a degree that they become central figures of their stories. He is known also for his unrepentant lifelong use of alcohol, LSD, mescaline, and cocaine (among other substances); his love offirearms; his long-standing hatred of Richard Nixon; and his iconoclastic contempt for authoritarianism. While suffering a bout of health problems, he committed suicide in 2005, at the age of 67.

On August 20, 2005, in a private ceremony, Thompson's ashes were fired from a cannon atop a 153-foot (47 m) tower of his own design (in the shape of a double-thumbed fist clutching a peyote button) to the tune of Norman Greenbaum's "Spirit in the Sky" and Bob Dylan's "Mr. Tambourine Man."Red, white, blue, and green fireworks were launched along with his ashes. As the city of Aspen would not allow the cannon to remain for more than a month, the cannon has been dismantled and put into storage until a suitable permanent location can be found. According to his widow Anita, Thompson's funeral was financed by actor Johnny Depp, a close friend of Thompson. Depp told the Associated Press, "All I'm doing is trying to make sure his last wish comes true. I just want to send my pal out the way he wants to go out."

Other famous attendees at the funeral included U.S. Senator John Kerry and former U.S. Senator George McGovern; 60 Minutes correspondents Ed Bradley and Charlie Rose; actors Jack Nicholson, Bill Murray, Johnny Depp, Benicio del Toro, Sean Penn, and Josh Hartnett; singers Lyle Lovett, John Oates and numerous other friends. An estimated 280 people attended the funeral.

wow. just wow. all i can say about that. if you had read that in a book, you'd say there's no way, there's nobody quite that strange in the world. and you'd be wrong.

via wiki

via dilbert

"Vae! Puto deus fio."

("Well what do you know. I think I'm becoming a god."

translation mine)

the roman emperor vespasian, on his death bed. vespasian was putting down revolts in judea the late 60s aD when another general, vitellius, marched on rome and was defeated. the senate named vespasian emperor to avert civil war. as emperor, he patroned the arts like few others, built the colosseum, and caused much scandal when it was reported that he took off his own boots. needless to say, he was rather dubious about the deification of emperors.

to continue on a theme...

where, indeed. apparently not anywhere near the Bouffant Galaxy.

via mostly forbidden, an almost entirely wonderful site.

as for this epicurean account of yours, it is utter eyewash, hardly worthy of the old women who spin yarns by candlelight.

cotta, in cicero's de natura deorum, i.94

"Paracelsus" was the Latin pen name of Phillippus Aureolus Theophrastus Bombastus von Hohenheim.

Hohenheim died in Salzburg in 1541 at the age of 48. "He was a Renaissance physician, botanist, alchemist, astrologer, and general occultist" (wiki, emphasis mine). He gave the element zinc its name, and is credited as being the first systematic botanist. He was the first to synthesize laudanum, later to become the opiate of choice for much of Europe's aristocracy. He also invented the alphabet of the Magi, used to engrave the names of angels on talismans.

now. tell me that isn't the greatest thing you've heard in while. i dare you.

via wikipedia and danny r. inexpressible gratitude.

well, that about sums it up.

via vintage_ads